Marriage cannot fill voids or cure lust.
If you are emotionally wounded the spouse that you are praying for will not heal you. In fact, it is going to expose you. If you just want to be married to have legal sex because you are wrestling with the spirit of perversion, you are going to fail in your marriage. God is the only one who can deliver you from the spirit of perversion. You cannot use marriage as a cover up for deeply rooted issues.
Every where on social media there are “relationship goals”, “bae goals” , “let me love you goals”, and it is all on social media. Social media is not reality. You cannot compare yourself or idolize someone else’s relationship, but you need to be content with loving yourself. A spouse cannot teach you how to love, fill a void, or deliver you from emotional trauma . But do you know who can? God, by the renewing of your mind.
“And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” -Romans 12:2
Here are some reasons why God would want you to wait
- God may need to deliver you from a false reality . You can not expect your spouse to be perfect because they are human. If you go into a relationship with false expectations of what marriage really is, YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. Your spouse is not your God. When you are not delivered from trauma, emotional baggage, and low-self esteem you will make your spouse an idol because you expect them to heal you when only God can. God may need to deliver you from your own mentality. The Word of God says in Matthew 11: 28, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
- When you are married you become ONE. The Word of God says in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” I understand that no one is perfect, but some things you must be delivered from before you are married. Validation from others because of lack of knowledge of who God is and what God can do is one. You might have residue of doubt, emotional baggage, and misconceptions. Focus, let God deal with you, and in due time your spouse will come.
- Until you make God your priority, you will not receive the spouse that God has for you. I am not talking about a counterfeit spouse, I am talking about a God sent spouse. God is not your back page. You will not make God a secret. You need to seek God first before you seek a spouse. The Word of God says in Matthew 6: 33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
- When waiting your spouse you must have discerment. You might think Delilah (reference Judges chapter 16) is your woman of God and you have completely missed the Proverbs 31 woman that you NEED because of lack of discernment . You might thank Dae Dae the demon is your Boaz and you have completely missed it because of lack of discernment . Make God your priority so you don’t end up with Dae Dae the demon and Delilah.
- You must understand the fullness of your assignment. We all have an assignment when we are here on this earth. The Word of God says in Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” When God formed you He created your strengths, weaknesses, and your assignment. Every person in the bible that you have ever studied had an assignment. Adam was assigned to tend the Garden of Eden and to name the animals God created. Noah was assigned to build the arc. Moses was assigned to lead his people out of bondage. Ruth was assigned to glean in the field. Everyone has assignment. So many times we hear the story of Ruth and Boaz, however what we don’t discuss is that Ruth was found working in the field as it reads in Ruth 2: 2- 5,“(2)And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter. (3) And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech. (4) And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee. (5) Then said Boaz unto his servants that was set over the reapers, Whose damsel is this?” If Ruth had not been working, Boaz would have NEVER saw her. If Boaz was not working his assignment, which was his own field, he would have never found Ruth.
Boaz if you want Ruth
Focus on your field. Your field needs tending. Are you musician? Well get to work and produce the album (for Jesus of course). Are you a doctor? Well get to work, get your degree, and open the practice. Are you in ministry? Well man of God, it is time for revival. Get to fasting, praying, and reading the Word of God.
Ruth if you want Boaz
The Word of God says in Proverbs 18:21, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour from the Lord.” Stop searching and go glean in the field. You want Boaz, Ruth? Get to work on your assignment.
All In All
Singleness is a gift. If you are in a single season do not allow social media to influence your singleness. There are so many rushed Christian marriages because of lack of wisdom of the single season. As I have written in my previous article (The Spirit Of Contentment) it is important to be content, focused on God, and wait on the Lord. The Word of God says in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 , “ And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;” Get to work , do your own business, stay quiet (and stay humble), and God will send your Spouse of Purpose.
Focus. Grind. Pray. Keep God First. Not Only Will Your Spouse Come. You Will Succeed.
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